Everybody knows Halloween isn’t for everyone. There are some out there who are just waiting for the pumpkins to be carved and the stores to be rid of candy corn and silly masks so they can put their Christmas tree up in the living room (sorry, Thanksgiving: I promise we are all grateful). But the month isn’t going to change no matter how quickly you get up that garland or hunt for Butterball turkey sales, so you might as well have fun with the Halloween traditions while you can. But there’s one tradition that I know for a fact that not everyone can get behind:
Watching scary movies.
We can have fun with the costumes, with the bucketloads of candy, with the too-expensive animatronics in our neighbor’s yards or rooms, but that’s the fun stuff. Sometimes, nothing is more terrifying than when your friend asks you to watch a horror movie, either because you really don’t want to watch one, or because you have no idea what to say. Or both. I don’t know what kind of person you are. So here’s a little guide to help with this, or if you just want to get in the Halloween spirit.
BEGINNER LEVEL OF HORROR: “Isn’t this for kids?”
These are films for you real scaredy cats out there. If you can’t bear to tap on the foot pedals of Spirit Halloween animatronics, or you can’t even bear to go to those stores in the first place, here are some movies for you.
Spookley the Square Pumpkin (2004): 40 minutes.
I know, it sounds terrifying, but you gotta hear me out.
This is a short made primarily for children under the age of six, if I had to guess. It’s about a pumpkin that was born square and how his shape makes him special in a good way, although it takes some time for the rest of the patch to stop bullying him about it. Other than some messed-up-looking bats and singing honeydew melons, there’s nothing to be scared of in this film. You’ll probably get laughed at for mentioning it as much as refusing to watch a horror movie in the first place, but hey, it’s a classic and it takes place during Halloween. That’s all you need.
Hotel Transylvania films (2012-2018): average 1 hour 30 minute runtime
Okay, these aren’t Halloween films. But they have a lot of monsters in them, as the films focus on Dracula (voiced by Adam Sandler) running his hotel while also dealing with his friends and his daughter, Mavis, and eventually, his son-in-law Johnny and his grandkid Dennis. They all focus around the same characters but have different plots. Yes, again for kids, but I’d boost the age limit up to middle school. They’re more funny than scary, as they are family films, but they’re classics and probably won’t affect your social score considering how popular they are. But whatever you do, don’t watch the fourth one. I don’t even consider it as part of this list.
Paranorman (2012): 1 hour 32 minutes
This is just an amazing film. It does actually take place during Halloween time, and it’s made in the beautiful stop-motion style of Laika Studios, adding a lot of character to the film itself. The plot follows a kid, Norman, who can see the ghosts of the dead. He, with some unlikely friends, has to stop a 300-year old curse over his town caused by a witch. It’s a funny film to watch with some spooky elements; spooky for a kid, probably, but it’s definitely a Halloween film worth watching if you don’t take haunts well.
Hocus Pocus (1993): 1 hour 36 minutes
Hot take: I don’t care for this movie even half as much as everyone else, but it’s popular enough that I think it deserves a spot on this list. It’s a Disney Halloween film about Max Dennison, a teenager who just moved to Salem with his little sister, Dani, accidentally resurrecting the Sanderson Sisters, notorious witches from the Salem Trials, and having to stop them from killing all the children in town to make themselves alive again and live forever. It’s a straightforward plot, has a talking cat, and an iconic trio that has been franchised and will continue to be spread until the planet explodes. Heck, maybe they’ll be the ones to do it someday. But if you want a calm, household Halloween film, no one will argue with you at this movie night suggestion.
Scooby-Doo (2002): 1 hour 26 minutes and Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004): 1 hour 33 minutes
I could rant about these movies all day, but I won’t. Maybe in the future. But these two films are absolute classics, considering how iconic the Scooby-Doo franchise is. These are not Halloween movies, but they’re fun and have spooky elements very along the lines of the franchise. The first film revolves around the gang breaking up at the beginning, then eventually reuniting to solve a mystery at “Spooky Island,” and the second is about stopping a masked villain who revived all of the gang’s monsters they stopped in the past. If you don’t take the time to watch these before the end of the month, are you real Halloween fans? Sure, they’re not Halloween movies, but come on, it’s Scooby-Doo! And don’t panic, these movies are not even a pinch scary. They are funny and a good watch for a night when you have nothing better to do. Plus, for the students on campus, the first movie is being played by the SAC in the Mabel Brown Room on Sat. Oct. 24 at 6:30 p.m.
MEDIUM LEVEL OF HORROR: “I can do this.”
At this point, either you recognize you are no longer under the age of 15, or you have bravened up enough to get this far into the article. These are a handful of films that have some aspects that might trigger a person now and then, but should be tolerable to the mass population. They might have some elements that play to certain phobias, but don’t have many (if any) jump scares or gore that even reaches the explicit level. Or they are just intended for more mature audiences than the target demographic of the films I’ve already listed.
Little Shop of Horrors (1986): 1 hour 34 minutes
This is a musical about a man named Seymour discovering a strange plant that ends up bringing a lot of attention to the floral shop he works at. The only catch? It eats people. And it’s a giant practical puppet that has the raspiest singing voice. The film has an awesome soundtrack and a fun plot despite the horror aspect. You don’t see anyone get murdered up close, and you don’t see any dead bodies or anything: You do see people get eaten whole, though. And there is blood in this one, although only from Seymour pricking his finger and the leftovers of an evil dentist wrapped in newspaper, but nothing graphic. I think the scariest thing about this film is the fact that it has the word “horror” in the title, but definitely a Halloween movie nonetheless.
Monster House (2006): 1 hour 31 minutes
Before you go and yell at me saying “This is another kid’s film! What’s it doing down here?” there is a good explanation. Despite it being a kid’s film, the plot is messed up and darker than probably anything I’ve talked about so far. It took me until high school to watch this movie without getting scared by the person-eating house possessed by the owner’s dead wife and the three kids trying to take down the house before it murders all of the children that come close to it. But there are so many iconic moments and funny parts that I think it’s worth it. Caution: it’s got a lot more spook than ol’ Spookley.
Hubie Halloween (2020): 1 hour 42 minutes
Despite this being live action, this is borderline beginner-level horror. It follows Hubie Halloween, a frequently bullied resident because of his wimpiness, as he tries to enforce safety to all the trick-or-treaters and partiers, but as people start to disappear, he seems to be the only one who can solve the mystery. The only reason I deem it not to be is because there are a few “jump scares” and suspenseful parts that can inflict fear in the weak-hearted, but it’s an Adam Sandler film, so as you can imagine, it’s not that scary. You want a scary Adam Sandler movie? Find “Little Nicky” or “Jack and Jill,” then you’ll really feel like you’re in a nightmare.
“Scary Movie” movies: 1 hour 35 minutes average time per film
“Scary Movie” has been a long-running horror parody film franchise that essentially pokes fun at popular horror movies, like “Scream,” “The Conjuring,” stuff like that. They’re mature and they’re ridiculous: I’d be surprised if you haven’t heard of them, also considering there was a new one released this year, targeting movies like “Weapons” and “Sinners,” although I haven’t heard great reviews about that one. I’d stick them in the Halloween movie genre even though they have nothing to do with Halloween, to my knowledge, but they still bring those spooky and fun vibes to any movie night, especially in October.
Ghostbusters (1984): 1 hour 45 minutes
There are two things I have to say about this film. One: This is the best film on this list so far, and two: If you haven’t heard of it, you may not be a real person. It’s about a team who, you guessed it, busts ghosts haunting various places in New York City, but they realize something big is on the way. It’s a timeless classic, but if you can believe it, not that scary. The visual effects obviously date the movie itself, but I put it away from the kids movies as there is a tiny bit of “mature content” in here. Unless you couldn’t make it past the beginner stuff, there’s no way you can skip out on watching this film before the end of the month.
ADVANCED LEVEL OF HORROR MOVIES: “Oh yeah, this is for adults.”
I say advanced: I mean the bare minimum of being a horror movie. At least, some of these are bare minimum. Some of these movies are definitely scarier than others, but they’re all in this section for a reason. These may be difficult to get through for the squeamish, but as someone who hates horror movies, I got through these just fine (for the most part):
Resident Evil (2026): 1 hour 35 minutes
This is not a Halloween film. But guess what? It’s great and it’s in theaters as of this article being written. A shining review of it was published on the Equinox website, if you’re really curious about the film. It follows Bryan, a medical courier who has to make his way into Raccoon City, now dystopian and run over with mutant, zombified people and creatures. It is scary, but it has great comedy in it that makes the constant gripping onto your armrests completely worth it.
Halloween (1978): 1 hour 31 minutes
This is a Halloween film, if you can believe it, and it’s a classic. It was one of the first slasher films to be highly popular, focusing on serial killer Michael Myers (not Austin Powers, Shrek Mike Myers. Completely different guy) who stalks Laurie Strode, a girl in his hometown where he had murdered his sister 15 years earlier. It’s nothing out of the box terrifying, but it has its suspenseful moments and classic recognizable jingle. The end is really where all the “fun” stuff happens, but trust me, you’ll live. Maybe with only one or two nightmares.
This franchise has 13 films under its name, the last one being made in 2022. There are some that belong to the original chain of events, some remakes, and some alternate universes. I can’t speak for any of them, as I’ve only seen the first one, but hey, you got a lot of options and different takes on one guy; surely there’s entertainment in that.
Scream (1996): 1 hour 51 minutes
Ah, yes, another slasher film that has been stretched out too far beyond what we ever hoped or asked for. But it’s another classic I cannot leave out of this list. The slasher, Ghostface, stalks his victims through phone calls, slowly killing more and more people throughout the film until the killers are unmasked at the end (Yes, there’s more than one of them. You’ll get it). While I have not personally seen the film, I can’t deny how iconic it is. I mean, how much more iconic can you be than getting its own in-game item and skin in Fortnite? From what I can tell, there’s a good amount of gore in the film, probably a handful of jump scares, so buckle in if you’re attempting to watch this one.
Donnie Darko (2001): 1 hour 53 minutes
I recently watched this movie for the first time, and let me just say that the rabbit-thing named Frank that haunts Donnie is unsettling, to say the least. To put my words more adamantly, I hate it. I hate it very much. Still, I really liked the deeper meaning of this movie and slowly unraveling of what’s really happening. The story follows Donnie Darko, a schizophrenic teenager who gets messages from Frank every often, telling him about the end of the world that will inevitably happen 28 days after a plane crashed into Darko’s house, specifically in his bedroom. It focuses on Darko’s mental state while he’s also trying to balance and maintain a normal life. This psychological thriller does take place in October and doesn’t have many jump scares or major gore, so while it is not centered around Halloween, the holiday is the climax of this film, and I will consider this a Halloween film (also considering a couple of movies on this list are definitely not Halloween movies). However, that rabbit well earned its place in the “advanced” ranking for being a scary-looking thing I dreaded showing back up on screen.
If I’m attempting to say anything through this article, it’s that there are a lot of scary movies out there. I barely even broke through the cusp of how many great films there are, as there are dozens of films I didn’t mention (“Nightmare Before Christmas,” “Halloweentown,” “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown;” you get the picture) especially for you horror fanatics out there. Maybe turning on “Smile” or “Terrifier” or “The Conjuring” will better suit your needs. But there is always the right film for the right person. Maybe you can’t stand horror, or maybe you can tolerate it occasionally, like me. But no matter what, don’t skip out on watching a spooky flick before the holiday. It’ll feel better when the snow starts to flurry and you’re stuck being holly jolly for a couple of months.
Hayley Doda can be contacted at
hayley@kscequinox.com
