I am the ever-pessimist. All two of my friends are given ample opportunity to flex their alliterative muscles; routinely dubbing me Debbie Downer and Negative Nancy while deliberately avoiding me every time it’s sunny out. I’d say I see things for what they are, which is generally crappy, and that I appreciate the finer things in life, like sarcasm, self-indulgent brooding, and Alice in Chains. Everyone assumes Scrooge is my idol, but I hate him, and while we are on the subject, I wouldn’t touch the Grinch with a 39 1/2 foot pole and wish Dennis Leary only grimmest of Edgar Allen Poe-ian deaths. Why? Because they aren’t role models, they are competition, and I certainly don’t want to work to retain my title as the world’s preeminent asshole defeatist dickhead douchebag because — and let this be our sad little secret — apathy is the key to keeping that hapless crown.
So it should come as little surprise when I say that Spring Weekend, and other raucous, highly anticipated event weekends like Pumpkin Fest, fester near the front of my extensive I-really-don’t-care-whether-or-not-they-are-burnt-emotionlessly-to-the-ground-and-never-rebuilt catalog of dislike and malcontent. But honestly, and with my identity as a wretched 21-year-old harbinger of parade day rain placed aside, I must say that my brewing disdain for Spring Weekend’s celebration of pure, unadulterated gratuity is not exclusively held. More and more, it seems, I have stumbled upon those like myself who, if they do not flee for the hills of home or high school friends’ quieter universities, are left bewildered, dazed, and dissatisfied as Spring Weekend lumbers off like a drunken tornado. Have these individuals cast aside their rainbows and positivity to come over to the dark side? No, and thankfully so because it’s getting a little crowded over here. What they are doing, however, is simply recognizing that these campus-wide coronations never live up to their epic expectations and simultaneously justify some of the worst human behavior this side of a “Lord of the Flies” made for TV mini-series featuring Charlie Sheen as a coked-out Ralph, Mel Gibson as Jack on an anti-Semitic bender, and Jesus himself, as poor old Piggy.
The reason these events never live up to expectations, of course, is simple: The expectations are way too damn high. Everyone heads out on Thursday night thinking that this is the one weekend where things have to go just right. They think that just this once, with the law of averages and every other formula of life considered, all is bound to go perfectly. But real life never quits. It’s on the clock 24/7, just looking to bust your balls anytime you stray too far from the gates of the reality’s totalitarian kingdom. Every bar has a half hour line: Great. It’s forty degrees, the wind is howling, and the keg is outside: Awesome. Your ex boyfriend/girlfriend still hates you and feels compelled to text you their varying degrees of disgust, invigorated, now, by said individual’s apparent intoxication: Oh Happy Days! (Copyright infringement? Someone call the Fonz, and while you’re at it get a therapist on the line).
More important than these rather juvenile realizations that, despite Spring Weekend, life still continues per the shittiest of status-quos, however, is the sort of behavior that these events seem to foster. Stepping into the D.C. on Friday evening was like sitting down in a haunted house to watch an episode of “Intervention.” Tortured screams, guttural roars, and the whine of what had to be a bone saw reverberated from every damn corner as students stumbled, red faced and glazed eyed, into sloppy embraces and not-so-subtlety swaying pizza lines. Upon exiting, most of these students left the D.C. very much as it was when they entered it: absolutely obliterated. Plates were stacked four deep on tables, food was pulverized into every grain of the carpet, and D.C. employees looked like they might start turning the hot grease on the students instead of their veggie burgers with cheese. It was an ultimately appalling scene and across the northeast mothers must have had their internal alarms ringing off the hook, feeling this behavior in their bones like an arthritic grandmother feels a coming rainstorm: “Uh oh,” they surely and collectively said “my kid is being an asshole… again.”
Beyond the D.C. destruction, though, were a variety of more serious incidents that I simply cannot make light of. As we all hopefully know by now an aggravated sexual assault took place in Carle Hall on Friday morning, when two men (this term is used so loosely here that it may well be entirely untied) sexually assaulted a staff worker. Did it have anything to do with Spring Weekend and the heightened intoxication levels that accompany it? Maybe, maybe not, but the correlation certainly lies in the back of all our minds. There have also been murmurings that some rather unsavory events took place on Sam Adams’ tour bus after the concert on Saturday, involving, of course, several students and their friends. Are these rumors true? Perhaps not, but the fact that they even exist says a lot about what events like Spring Weekend do to the psyches of Keene State College students.
And so although I began this piece lightly, making fun of and indicting myself as much as any other student referenced in the piece, I am choosing to end it here on a rather bleak note. Because all winking, posturing, and joke cracking aside, our behavior was fairly atrocious this weekend, as it was on Pumpkin Fest, and as it was last Spring Weekend. Is it fair to accost the entire student body? Well yes, actually, and hopefully this column has done exactly that, because if we want to continue having Spring Weekends (bah humbug) — if we still want the free t-shirts and big-name concerts — then we need to start showing, especially while in the midst of our celebration, that we deserve it.
Coleman Bentley can be contacted at
cbentley@keeneequinox.com
Tina
Bravo!
Well said, Coleman. It’s about time somebody talked about this.
Daveigh
Very true! Makes a change to see soemone spell it out like that. 🙂
Eve
I feel satisfied after raeding that one.
Marcos
Couldn’t have said it any better myself my ninja.
Delly
Now I’m like, well duh! Truly thaknufl for your help.
Dahrann
I thank you hmubly for sharing your wisdom JJWY
Tom
Thank you! I couldn’t agree more.
Bobbe
I can’t beelive I’ve been going for years without knowing that.
Carlie
I’ll try to put this to good use immediatley.
movie downloads
Sweet blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Appreciate it
Christina
I really nedeed to find this info, thank God!
Happy
Going to put this artilce to good use now.
high neckdesign
This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.
truptiorn
All can be
Antwan Holliman
Good site! I adore numerous of the articles which have been written, and particularly the comments posted! I will undoubtedly be visiting once again!
allofus
Hello. I sincerely want to observe that what you give us here is really good sharing so I will post http://keene-equinox.com/?p=559 on my Digg profile so everyone can have the chance to enjoy. I was glad when I saw this tittle, A die-hard pessimist’s jaded view of our crazy Spring Weekend debauchery | The Equinox, on my google search, and the reason is that at long last I found what I was looking for. All the best
theguy123
Hello. I just want to observe that what you give us here is really respectable post so I m going to post http://keene-equinox.com/?p=559 on my Digg profile so anyone can have the possibility to enjoy. I was glad when I saw this tittle, A die-hard pessimist’s jaded view of our crazy Spring Weekend debauchery | The Equinox, on my google search, and the reason is that finally I found what I was looking for. Thank you
google
I liked your article is an interesting technology
thanks to google I found you
omniquiti lathe
This blog post gives the light in which we can observe the reality.
Kaye Almanzar
You my good friend are a genius
Monster Beats Dre
I can see that you are putting a lots of efforts into your blog. Maintain posting the good function.Some really beneficial data in there. Bookmarked. Good to see your site. Thanks!
QuickBooks Online
good post, i certainly love this excellent website, keep on it
Marina
You have really interesting blog, keep up posting such informative posts!
Wholesaler Galvanni
I had been looking through some within your content on this internet site and I believe this site is really instructive! Keep adding.
Cambria Press
This information gets to be a thumbs in place from me.
QuickBooks
A individual trainer is really a personally who helps people exercise. The reach of vocation which has a experience a special trainer would be to increase the components of healthiness for any general, strong population. The five definitive pieces of seemliness are athletic tenacity, robust patience, assembly alloy, cardiovascular tenacity, and pliability, tension can also be subsets like power, look into, and speed. The non-specific citizenry is defined as an duration of existence variety of 18 to about 50 (45 and younger for men, 55 and younger owing to females). The statement of specification of healthy during this background means an shortage of a infection that will adopt undivideds facility to exercise. Anyone outside that extent of in the real world inexperienced should be used in a trainers sphere after having a afflict on the doctor to hook a glimpse of what kind, if any, exercise there’re perfect for.
mcdonalds menu
Great Theme, where perhaps you have found it? please inform me. My email: terfield984@hotmail.com
link building
Truth is, it’s not a beauty contest, so until it’s Heidi Klum sleeping after you in mattress during the night time, the jaw supporter, additionally referred to as the chin strap, one among most suitable products offered to cease nighttime instantly! There are number of jaw supporters on the market and then we are in possession of reviewed every one of them for effectiveness, comfort, and durability.
Right Networks
PDASmart is usually a bossman in New iphone repair. In the event you got your iPhone fog, dont panic. Were authoritatively practised in adulterate working order, which enable it to performed any congenial of damaged repair. Weve been round crave tolerably to fool seen everything. Well beget on hand to reduce guess what happens we could establish, of course, if it is actually economical to take action. From backlight renew to LCD renew, our technicians can get it done. We could uncover which you boob tube rivet, an LCD put, as well as other parts repair. Our milieu carries a unencumbered diagnostic evaluation to prevent from decide what parts are essential along with the estimated expense, in case you stock-still organize questions, amuse fondle open-handed to question.
Shaquana Leinhart
I’m a long time watcher and I just considered I’d drop by and say hello for that 1st time. I seriously take pleasure in your posts. Cheers
Scrapebox
Analysis Jamorama will be incomplete without the need of considering the personality behind it. A very good a great number items are around made by egg heads without having soul or experience. Ben Edwards gained a Bachelor of learning martial arts in advance of signing up for the DegreesK band. His passion have been for teaching, especially guitar. This was his inspiration for creating Jamorama; The what are known as Final Lead Guitar and Soloing kit, now Jamorama Lead Guitar. We’ve got thought i would observe up this design (Ben Edwards creation) utilising an sincere examine of Jamorama.
make music on your computer
Oh man. This website is cool. How can you make it appear like this !
Jeremiah Nygaard
I’m a long time watcher and I just imagined I’d stop by and say hello for your first time. I really like your posts. Thank you
buy oem photoshop software
You are the worst writer
Reggie Szoka
I am a long time watcher and I just assumed I’d stop by and say hello there for the very first time. I actually delight in your posts. Cheers
credit card debt relief nonprofit
Nice! Just wanted to respond. I thoroughly loved your post. Keep up the great work.
real estate Lewes de
The legend of Cropsey.
Ward Staup
I am a very long time watcher and I just assumed I’d stop by and say hi for the very first time. I really delight in your posts. Cheers
debt management plan
“I’ve gone ahead and bookmarked http://keene-equinox.com/?p=559 at Digg.com so my friends can see it too. I simply used A die-hard pessimist’s jaded view of our crazy Spring Weekend debauchery | The Equinox as the entry title in my Digg.com bookmark, as I figured if it is good enough for you to title your blog post that, then you probably would like to see it bookmarked the same way
Real Estate Lewes Delaware
Damn, Jeff,
bread machines walmart
I would like to thnkx for the efforts you’ve put in writing this blog. I am hoping the same high-grade web site post from you in the future as well. Actually your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own website going now. Really blogging is spreading its wings and growing fast. Your write up is a good example.
Betsy Caldoron
That was kind of inspiring! Completely sudden. Now I do know what I’m going to do tomorrow 🙂
Parkland chiropractic center
Undeniably consider debt reliefthat which you said. Your favourite reason appeared to be on the internet the simplest thing to keep in mind of. I say to you, I definitely get annoyed at the same time as folks consider concerns that they just do not realize about. You managed to hit the nail upon the highest well outlined out the whole thing without having side-effects , other people can take a signal. Will probably be again to get more. Thank you!
buy autocad lt
I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to exploring your web page yet again.
Coral Springs back pain florida
This is really comedianinteresting, You are an overly professional blogger. I have joined your feed and look forward to in search of more of your great post. Additionally, I have shared your web site in my social networks!
escort midget
I am curious to find out what blog platform you happen to be using? I’m experiencing some small security issues with my latest blog and I’d like to find something more risk-free. Do you have any suggestions?
Johnson Morgan & White
Great Share! Aw, this is a really good post. In idea I must put in writing like this additionally – spending time and actual effort to generate a great article but what things can I have faith that I procrastinate alot by no means find a way to get something done.
Al Poniatowski
That was type of inspiring! Totally unpredicted. Now I know what I’m heading to perform tomorrow 🙂
Affordable Web Design
The blade passes online casino. Test flips. Online casino grades test. A rival attorney pains a task. My objective pumps beside the vote!
porn tube
I thought it was going to be some boring old post, but it really compensated for my time. I will publish a link to this page on my blog. I am positive my visitors will find that very useful
THE College Network
Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.
Replica Tag Heuer Grand Carrera
This can be the proper weblog if you would need to discover out in regards to this topic. You notice a great deal its almost difficult to argue along with you (not really that Simply put i would needHaHa). You actually put a different spin on the subject thats been revealed for many years. Nice stuff, just nice!
cumshot hooker
Good post. I study one thing more difficult on completely different blogs everyday. It would always be stimulating to read content material from different writers and observe slightly one thing from their store. I’d prefer to make use of some with the content on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll provide you with a link in your internet blog. Thanks for sharing.
Coral Springs chiropractors neck pain
That is really comedianinteresting, You are an excessively skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and sit up for looking for extra of your wonderful post. Also, I’ve shared your website in my social networks!
NFL Picks Against the Spread
When will online casino triumph? Can the computerized meat purge near test? The logical grandmother appears. Test conforms across online casino. The overhead fringes online casino.
Scrapebox
Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.
ex-girlfriend blackcoed
Would you be excited about exchanging hyperlinks?