Sam Norton
Student Life Editor
Some of us keep secrets so deep locked inside our minds and souls- too deep that the key to unlocking it could never be found.
What we don’t realize is that we will continue to carry these secrets with us through every step of our lives.
But when do these secrets start becoming a burden, one that has taken over our lives?
Director of the Counseling Center, Brian Quigley, said, “There is this constant theme of individualism and standing on your own two feet and being able to work through your problems and persevere. So if you’re having a problem, like you’re feeling completely hopeless in life, it runs in complete contrast to our own cultural philosophy that you are supposed to stand on your own two feet and fix your own problems. So we don’t end up reaching out for help because it’s not in our cultural DNA.”
The nagging presence of denial, the agonizing fear of not being accepted, and the worry that we will be rejected are the three demons that prevent those in need of help from finding it.
“In our culture we are very individualistic and I think that fierce individualism we have is counter to the idea of getting help from one another,” Quigley said.
From birth, most of us are embedded with the idea that everyone is supposed to be independent.
This includes destroying any idea to seek help from others, especially loved ones.
However, when dealing with the pressures of college and transitioning into what the real world has to offer, most college students are affected by feelings of anxiety and depression.
“The prominent themes tend to be related to sadness, feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiousness about all kinds of things. From connecting with others, performing successfully, academically, making good choices. ‘What’s my future going to look like?’ and all those other anxiety-producing questions,” Quigley said.
Like most college students, junior Erin Humphrey has developed anxiety over her test scores because of the pressure to perform well academically.
“I feel like even if you are not diagnosed with anxiety or depression, everyone has a little bit of it. Life isn’t always easy. You go through ups and downs, and there’s going to be hard times that everyone has to go through, some more than others,” Humphrey said.
However, conquering the dreaded midterm and final exams is not the only stressor that college students face; most students struggle with adjusting to being in college and the changes that coincide with that transition.
“When you come to college there is certain cultural expectations that students feel and experience and seek to conform to, to varying degrees. An example of that would be partying,” Quigley said.
The idea of going to college creates a whole new set of social expectations of what it means to party, Quigley said.
These cultural influences aid in creating these emotional health challenges, Quigley added. For some college students, there is a positive and a negative way to deal with these challenges.
Humphrey said that some often choose the wrong path and use drinking, drugs, and self-harm as a way to cope with the stress of school.
However, being involved actively is a healthy alternative when dealing with the stresses that come along with being a college student.
“The research has shown that those alone can decrease depression because of what happens in our brains and the release of neurotransmitters,” Quigley said. Even though exercise helps one deal with keeping the dark secrets of experiencing depression and anxiety hidden from taking over their lives, most do not seek treatment.
“Data has shown that the majority of people do not seek treatment for those problems,” Quigley said.“We always say those who reach out for help are the most courageous people, those are the strongest people. To find the courage to say that I need help is the opposite of being weak,” Quigley said.
The Post Secret community is one that prides itself on providing everyone with the opportunity to share his or her secrets and find a group of people who accept them for who they are, regardless of what the secret is.
“I like Post Secret. I think that whole concept of liberating ourselves from the secret has some therapeutic benefit. But, I think even beyond that, going back to this idea of culture, I think one of the great contributions Post Secret or other ways people find to express themselves lifts the veil of secrecy and therefore the stigma that comes with experiencing problems and emotional health issues,” Quigley said.
Even though the Post Secret community is one that is anonymous, its impact is one that is more than identifiable.
“If we could all have some social contract where we speak honestly to the social challenges we’ve had, we would see that a large portion of people also have that problem,” Quigley said.
By sharing your “secrets” with one another, people realize they are not the only ones dealing with these issues, Quigley said.
Everyone has secrets; it’s just a matter of sharing them.
Sam Norton can be contacted at snorton1@ksc.mailcruiser.com