What do Dick Cheney, Mother Teresa, Bill Cosby, Fred Rogers, Martin Luther King Jr and Henry Kissinger have in common? No, this isn’t the setup to some elaborate joke or unhinged conspiracy theory. Save your tinfoil hats and red string for another day. These are all recipients of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian national honor bestowed upon recipients from all walks of life at the whim of the President of the United States.
Unlike the Congressional Gold Medal, which is deliberated and voted upon by the United States Congress, the Presidential Medal of Freedom is awarded freely at the discretion of the POTUS, meaning anybody capable of tickling the commander-in-chief’s fancy is eligible.
Officially, the award is granted to “any person who has made an especially meritorious contribution to (1) the security or national interests of the United States, or (2) world peace, or (3) cultural or other significant public or private endeavors,” watering down the criteria for eligibility to something so vague that practically anyone could join the not-so-exclusive club.
The list of 673 recipients ends up a diabolically beautiful rainbow of characters, ranging from civil rights activists, artists and all sorts of stewards of societal wellbeing to political cronies, ghoulish bigots and the occasional disgrace to human rights, just for good measure. I suppose beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.
One such beauty, recently announced as the first recipient under President Donald Trump’s second term, is former New York City Mayor and disgraced former attorney, Rudy Giuliani. If you haven’t heard that name in a while, he’s been largely absent from the national migraine of modern politics since being disbarred from practicing law in Washington D.C. in 2024, following a slew of legal troubles surrounding his crusade to gaslight the American people with conspiracy theories about Trump’s defeat in the 2020 Presidential Election.
Not to be too pedantic, but something about actively participating in a brazen attempt to thwart the democratic will of the American voters with misinformation campaigns doesn’t quite strike me as a meritorious contribution to national security or world peace.
Giuliani is far from the biggest joke on this list. To his credit, his tenure as a servant of New York City included some arguably positive achievements, including leading the city through the aftermath of the Sept. 11 attacks and indicting high ranking members of organized crime organizations under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO) in the mid 80s.
Everybody has redeeming qualities, but a public figure whose resume includes significant participation in a divisive subterfuge that corroded the frame of American democracy sharing the same honor as Nelson Mandela calls the sincerity of that honor into question.
But hey, if anything goes, maybe it’s time we award the Presidential Medal of Freedom to a true American patriot, my long-haired black cat Bailey. My sweet little angel is just as deserving and qualified for a national award of such reverence as anyone.
Let me explain: Bailey has never attempted to defraud thousands of Pennsylvania voters with lawsuits meant to invalidate their mail-in ballots. Bailey has never given a televised press conference at a random landscaping company’s base of operations because her team booked the wrong “Four Seasons.” Bailey never accused election workers in Georgia of manipulating vote tallies, causing them to experience severe harassment. Sometimes when you’re not feeling well, Bailey will rest her head on your chest and make a cute little chirping sound. Bailey will lick your cheek because she thinks she’s a puppy. Bailey is REALLY good at catching the spiders that come in from the screened porch. Bailey has never been accused of sexual misconduct.
Until we’re ready to reserve the Presidential Medal of Freedom exclusively for the best examples of character, competency and benevolence, we might as well give it to Giuliani and my cat. Maybe Rudy can pawn it and try to recoup some of the two plus million dollars in unpaid legal fees POTUS still owes him.
Ryan Pacheco can be contacted at
rpacheco@kscequinox.com
