I’m sure a majority of us like to believe that our society is changing and becoming more open to different types of people.
I know I like to think that being straight isn’t the norm anymore, and being gay is just as common and accepted. Unfortunately, sitting in my college classes, I am reminded that there are still hateful people out in society today.
During my first semester of my junior year, I enrolled in a class that assessed visual rhetoric of gender and sexuality.
As a communication major, I get the opportunity to look into a lot of different types of visuals and figure out why they are appealing.
In this case, I’m viewing straight, gay, and femininity and masculinity as they are viewed in mass media. Recently, we were assigned a reading about Ellen DeGeneres and her “coming out” story. This made me think about something that actually gets me pretty fired up.
Photo Illustration by: Brian Cantore / Photo Editor
Why does anyone have to come out? Why do people who are gay or transgender or bisexual have to come out? I don’t think it’s fair.
My class is working with a local organization known as PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). PFLAG’s purpose is to promote the health and well-being of anyone who is gay, bisexual, transgender and so on. The leader of the Keene chapter, Roberta Barry, came into to talk to our class about the organization. During her meeting with us, she conducted a mini activity.
She had three students (including myself) sit in front of the class where we pretended we were on the Oprah Winfrey show and she was Oprah. She had told us before the fake panel that we were just going to pretend that being straight is the minority and is not accepted.
She then asked us questions where we had to answer as if being straight was embarrassing and hated.
One of her questions put me into an almost shocking state of mind. She asked the three of us, “So, when did you know that you were straight?”
I’ve always been a firm believer that you are born gay and that it’s not a choice. Think about it, why would anyone choose to be humiliated and chastised by the public?
When Barry asked me that question though, I paused. I’ve always known I was straight. It just happened that way.
After this meeting with Barry, we read an Ellen article. When Ellen was asked, “How do you feel now that you’ve came out?” Ellen answered, “I feel good. Now people can’t hurt me anymore.”
What upset me was the fact that Ellen even had to come out in the first place. Why does society have such a hard time understanding anyone who isn’t straight?
Straight people do not have to come out because it just happened. So why do gay people?
The author of the Ellen article, communication scholar, Bonnie Dow, explained coming out as a homosexual is discussed as a liberation or a celebration.
She explained that coming out supposedly, “provides psychological comfort in a deeply homophobic culture…” Everyone should have the right to be happy with the person they are.
What upsets me, though, is that when someone comes out about being gay or transgender, they should not have to worry about what people are going to think of them.
When I started liking boys in elementary school, I never worried about what anyone (including society) was going to think of me. I was just being myself and was taught that there is nothing wrong about being who you are.
It wasn’t a big deal if I liked boys. So, why would it have been a big deal if I ended up liking girls? That’s what bothers me. Dow specifically said we live in a deeply rooted homophobic society.
I’m happy to see that it can be personally relieving to come out, but being gay should have never been hidden in the first place.
It should be just as easy when I “came out” as straight as someone “comes out” about being gay. I never had to come out. It just happened and not a single person questioned it.
It should not have to be a scary thing to realize you are gay, but our homophobic society makes us feel that way. Our society has turned every human being that isn’t straight into evil, which is disgusting.
I believe that humans are humans whether they are straight, gay, black, white, purple, triangle or square. Gay, lesbian and transgender people should not have to worry about public ridicule.
Everyone needs to accept being gay and transgender just as if it was someone coming out being straight.
It should be embraced, not put down.
So let’s get started.
Danielle Hoadley can be contacted at danielle.hoadley@ksc.keene.edu