Kiana Wright
Opinions Editor
Break ups and falling outs are one of the hardest and strangest occurrences during life. One moment you and your best friend are buying matching “best friend forever” bracelets and within a blink of an eye, you tell them you never want to see them again. You’ll be in love with someone, feel like you never have before and think “this is it, they’re the one,” until you snap and the relationship crumbles. Frank Dauenhauer, former technical writer and editor at Eastman Kodak Products and Services explained why someone experiences hate, “To hate someone is to be inextricably subject to that person’s injustices, or the infliction of pain or unpleasantness. If you are or can be hurt by another person’s words or deeds, you fear that person. When that person actually does hurt you, you react with hatred and the desire to remove yourself from that person’s presence and power over you.”
Hatred is a very strong emotion, much different than being angry or annoyed. Something has to change your entire perspective about someone to say you without a doubt hate them. When you feel like this about a person, it because of everything about them. From when they walk in the same room as you, if you hear them talk, and even as little as someone saying their name. Dauenhauer goes on to say, “If you can and do get away from that person, the immediate fear and hatred subside, but if that person ever gets close to you or can hurt you again, the hatred will resurge, and may cause you to react irrationally and destructively.”
Whoever feels hate, someone or something made them feel that way—so many believe that’s how they should react back to the problematic person. But no matter how mean, cruel or rude that person is, being the same way back to them isn’t solving anything. But hate doesn’t always mean wanting to hurt that person; it’s just an emotion that each person handles a different way—it’s how they react to it that makes them who they are. Single mom and writer Kate Madenwell explains that hating someone is a waste of your time, and it says more about you than the other person. “When you hate someone, it is not reflection of the person, but it is a reflection of you. Hate is an unnecessary emotion. It doesn’t do you any good. It doesn’t do the person any good. It doesn’t do anyone any good.”
Now, no one is saying this is going to be a piece of cake—it definitely isn’t as sweet. It’s hard to get over something drastic that happened to you, it can take years to overcome, but in the end it’ll help you. Madenwell said, “Whatever that person did that you hate, forgive them. You can’t change what happened. Let go and move on to the next chapter of your life that you can love. You’re in full control of what emotions you let into your life. Don’t let it be emotions as useless and toxic as hate.”
Students are strong young adults who see when people, including themselves, aren’t being treated properly. We all know who the “bad guys” are. When asked what gives you the right to hate someone on Facebook, students of Keene State College said it could be someone who is insensitive of someone else’s biological makeup, or is using inappropriate racial slurs. Some more students thought that they might hate someone who disrespects them, their family, their belongings or anything else that’s important to them. Other students said that after they’ve tried to be nice to someone, yet that person has gone out of their way to be mean, that’s when they feel hate towards them. As I said before, it’s okay to feel these emotions, but be careful not to dwell on it. Adding to the hate that’s already in the world is just going to give you a bad taste in your mouth.
Hate – “It has created a lot of problems in this world, but it has not solved one yet.”
-Maya Angelou
Kiana Wright can be contacted
at kwright@kscequinox.com
