I’m a normal guy in a unique situation. I try to live my life with as much normalcy as possible. I’m not a super intense over-achiever.
I put on my pants just like everyone else. (Well, maybe not JUST like everybody else, but you get the point.) I’m not very extroverted and I tend to keep to myself.
I don’t have many accolades to my name, and I never made the honor role in high school or the dean’s list in college. I am, in many ways, an average-joe.
Nonetheless, many people come up to me in the gym, or in a parking lot and tell me I’m extraordinary– that I’m strong-willed, that I amaze them, I inspire them.
I never knew how to respond to comments like that. I’m just living my life as I know how to, just like any other person, disabled or not.
To me, I’m just Jacob Barrett, a 21-year-old from New Hampshire who likes sports and has a healthy hatred for stairs and running.
I have always felt uncomfortable with the notion of being someone’s inspiration. I know it sounds selfish, but it’s true. It’s a lot of pressure.
For instance, during my senior year of highschool, I set a goal for myself to walk across the stage under my own power at my graduation ceremony.
People rallied for me, supported me, came up with signs they would hold up as a walked across that stage to get my diploma.
People were telling me that they were rooting for me, and that I had made them realize that no obstacle is too big to overcome.
Long story short, I wasn’t able to. While I was disappointed in myself, I felt like I let everybody else down.
Tim Smith / Photo Editor
I put up a long Facebook status saying I was going to do this incredible thing, which, these days, means it’s the real deal, and I couldn’t hold up my end of the contract. I failed so many people who believed in me.
It felt awful.
From then on I tried to steer clear of the inspiration label, but it keeps finding me. I was the most uninspired inspiration that ever existed.
I didn’t want to try because I didn’t want to fail, so I just lived in the body I had, putting no effort into improvement of my physical capabilities and focused solely on the idea that I would be as I was forever and coping with that fact. Some inspiration, right?
It’s been almost three years since I graduated and I didn’t walk across that stage. A few things have changed since then.
I still can’t walk 30 feet on my own. I’m still an average guy from New Hampshire with a hatred for stairs and running. Most importantly though, I’m still looked at as a source of inspiration.
What’s changed is how I look at that role. I realized that it’s not about if I fail or if I succeed, but that I tried in the first place.
To inspire people is a privilege that makes being in the position that I’m in worth it, and I shouldn’t look at that privilege as a burden.
The biggest change though, is how I will respond when people tell me that I’m a source of inspiration.
I’m so glad I can do that for you, or anyone for that matter.
Honestly, it does mean a lot to me. More than you know. The fact that I can make people want to strive for something better amazes me, even if I feel I myself am not doing much to provoke that reaction. I’m living my life my way. Maybe that is what inspires people.
However, I would like something in return.
Inspire me. Do something extraordinary with the motivation I’ve given you. Give me hope too, tell me that there’s a reason to try to walk that 30 feet even though I’ve already failed countless times.
Show me that there’s more to life than what I can see from my point of view. Push me to be better than I was yesterday, and I’ll do the same for you.
So, do we have a deal?
Jacob Barret can be contacted at jbarret@kscequinox.com
