For the past five hours, I’ve been trying to contemplate how to write a review for this film. There hasn’t been a movie that came out this year that has baffled me this much. I’m not kidding — this movie made a small part of me die inside. If I wasn’t writing a review, I would have left forty minutes in and not looked back. But I sat down, took it for what it’s worth and endured “Stray Dogs” no matter how much it hurt.
Philip Bergeron / Graphic Design Editor
On the streets of Taipei, a father [Kang-sheng Lee] and his two children struggle to survive, gathering food and seeking shelter. I wish I could give a longer synopsis, but this is the closest “Stray Dogs” has to a plot.
Going in, I expected a story about a father wanting to take care of his children. Sounds simple enough, but little did I know that this did not describe the film’s true intentions.
For anybody wondering: yes, I hate this film — with a passion. The only other films this year that boiled my blood to this level, are “God’s Not Dead” and “Best Night Ever.” Let me go into why “Stray Dogs” has me fuming.
The film opens up on a static medium shot of a mother and her two children sleeping. That’s perfectly fine, it’s setting up the atmosphere of the film — I’m alright with that.
After it goes on for about five to ten minutes, it cuts to another static shot which lasts even longer. I thought that this would only be the introduction, but alas, I was wrong. Those ten to fifteen minute static shots make up the entire runtime of two hours and eighteen minutes. Take out any and all dialogue and congratulations, you have one of the most pretentious films that I’ve seen in my entire life!
Here’s a quick endurance test, okay? A man is resting in his sleeping bag. Next to him, are his kids’ sleeping bags. Under one of them is a cabbage with a face drawn on it.
This man proceeds to eat the cabbage, slowly eating faster. He then starts to cry while still eating it. Could you endure that for fifteen minutes? I don’t think so.
Now let’s see, how are the characters? What characters? There were people in the movie, but no characters. How about plot — what plot?
That was non-existent as well. What about underlying themes and messages? I’m sorry to anyone out there that likes this movie, but “Stray Dogs” has nothing to say. Long takes don’t equal symbolism; that’s not how it works.
I know I’m not alone in this because the people in my theater couldn’t stand it as well. This is not a problem that’s attributed to the Putnam Theater, because they show some great films. Sometimes they take risks on foreign films and get this.
The only positive sliver I can give to this movie is that the cinematography is not terrible. But that’s like saying that dirt tastes better than manure — that doesn’t exactly make it good.
All I can say is avoid this film like the plague. Your time and money are not worth it. I can never get those two hours back, but there’s still hope for everyone else.
Rating: D-
Matt Bilodeau can be contacted at mbilodeau@keene-equinox.com
