I woke up that morning in New Orleans with what felt like a knot tied in my chest, not a beating heart.
I was thrilled to be in such a beautiful city with immense opportunities surrounding me at the National College Media Convention. However, I woke up and had to recover myself from the dreams that I had of my dad, who had passed away December 26, 2011.
I was sitting on his lap, hugging him and telling him how much I love and miss him. He just listened and he hugged me back. Then I woke up.
I knew that Hoda Kotb, host of the fourth hour of the “Today Show” and Dateline NBC Correspondent, would be the keynote speaker in a matter of minutes. I had been planning on going to her speech since I knew she would be in attendance at the conference probably one month prior.
Shannon Flynn / Social Media Director: Hoda Kotb speaks to a large audience of college journalism students in New Orleans on Friday, Oct. 25 at the 2013 National College Media Convention.
But I laid in bed for a little while longer, contemplating if I should even go or not. I woke up in tears and figured that I’d much rather just cry in bed and that the speech wasn’t important.
I was trying to convince myself that there was no reason for me to go. Nevertheless, I got out of bed and got ready to attend the speech.
It was clear to me that Kotb blew the crowd away. She began her speech by playing “Get Low” by the Ying Yang Twins and danced a little bit on stage, giving the crowd a good laugh and it also was the first note of how humble of a person she truly is.
Kotb did not have one note to reference to, she just talked, which for me, was another “wow” in my head.
Kotb talked about her progress along the way that has brought her to where she is today. She had said that she was so sure she would get that first, local job, close to her mother, but it didn’t work out that way.
Kotb explained that she drove for ten days from state-to-state and was rejected 27 times before she landed her first broadcast journalism job.
This again showed that her journey was not easy nor as glamorous as one might assume. Kotb never lost hope and eventually got herself to NBC and was promoted to co-host the fourth hour of the “Today Show.”
Having watched her show and learning of her experiences only fueled my desire to be where she is today. I appreciate her talent and her drive. She literally started from the bottom. Kotb said she borrowed her mother’s car to drive around with hope that she would land a job in no time at all. When that did not happen, she never stopped trying.
I enjoyed her speech and she certainly had my undivided attention throughout it all.
The only thing was that I was forcing myself to forget about the dreams I awoke from and focus on what’s best for me. What was best for me at that specific time was to listen and learn from someone I look up to—Hoda Kotb.
Her radiance gleamed from the stage the entire time. She had mentioned in passing that she, too, had lost her father and my mind started to pace back and forth.
I realized I needed to ask her how she got past such a terrible thing and what her advice to me was, but I had no idea how.
She left some time at the end of her speech to open up to questions from the audience.
There was a microphone in the middle of the room and students started a line behind that microphone to ask Kotb any question they would like.
After about three or four questions asked, I finally got out of my seat and got in line. There were at least ten people in front of me and I was shaking already. I don’t think it was because I was talking to a famous reporter, I knew it was because of the question I was going to ask.
Everybody else seemed to ask questions about the technicalities of being a reporter, which I can honestly say were great questions that also helped me.
Some were just as nervous as I was and they let her know that too, so that was a hint of relief. When I approached the microphone, I looked at Kotb in the front of the room behind her podium and she smiled so graciously, a smile that felt so welcoming.
My hands were trembling and I couldn’t stop shaking one of my legs. I described to her and the audience surrounding me that it was a difficult question for me to ask, I wasn’t trying to present any sort of “sob story,” but that I was in dire need of her advice. So I asked her, how do I get past this film over my eyes? It blurs the vision I have of my dreams for the future.
Before the untimely death of my father, I was completely fearless. When I lost the strongest security of my entire life, I became afraid of everything.
I don’t sleep in the dark, I’m afraid to walk places alone and most importantly, I am afraid that this will hinder my ability to become a television journalist and hop in the news van to potentially cover a fatal car crash similar to my dad’s.
I was trembling and there were tears welling up in my eyes. The first thing Kotb did was say, “First of all, come up here.”
Still shaking, I walked from the microphone in the middle of the Grand Ball Room of the New Orleans Marriott up to the podium Kotb presented from.
She gave me the biggest hug she could and let me know that I would get through such a tragedy. She brought me on stage and said, “See, this isn’t so hard.”
Kotb said that she thinks she’ll be seeing me someday on TV fulfilling my dream. She said that when she lost her father, it transformed her and that she saw that in me too.
Kotb gave me the extra push that I felt I needed and left me with more hope than I could ever imagine. Thank you, Hoda Kotb.
Rebecca Farr can be contacted at rfarr@keene-equinox.com