Disclaimer: The “Hoots N’ Hollers” section of The Equinox is entirely satirical and not at all based in fact. Every story, photo and name used here is fictious solely for the purpose of comedy and does not represent The Equinox’s or the College’s beliefs as a whole.

When asked about students’ involvement in Keene State College’s English Literature program this semester, Professor John O. Blivious said he is extremely hopeful about the student body’s interest in literary texts.

Blivious said his hopefulness comes from a conversation he overheard between two boys in his Literature 101 class.

“The boys were going on and on about how an off-campus party they attended over the weekend was ‘lit’,” Blivious said.

With tears in his eyes, Blivious continued, “I find it so satisfying that students would throw a party completely for literature.”

Blivious, who has been teaching English for 35 years, said he wishes he could have known about the literature themed party beforehand.

“I’m curious if the ‘lit’ party was focused on just American literature, like John Steinbeck and Harper Lee, or if they delved into Chaucer, Keats or even Shakespeare,” Blivious said.

Blivious identified the two boys in his Literature 101 class as junior Matt Rowdy and second-year senior Nate Chalant.

When asked about the off-campus literature themed party, Rowdy responded, “What? Literature party?”

Chalant, who has taken Blivious’s 101 course three times, said he has no idea what Blivious is talking about.

“Uhhh, there was a super lit party off campus last week. That just means it was really fun. No literature parties though,” Chalant said.

According to popular slang lexicon Urban Dictionary, “lit” is when a party is “turned up or popping.”

Blivious said he was surprised to hear Urban Dictionary’s definition of “lit.”

“Wow, a popping party? I was hopeful for the future of our English program here before, but it sounds like students everywhere are even more excited about literature than I thought,” Blivious said.

Blivious concluded, “I can’t wait to attend my first lit party.”

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