You know that eerie feeling at the end of the day when you are lying in bed, eyes wide, recapping an earlier conversation during which you refrained from saying the things that were racing in your thoughts?
There was a lot happening and you feared the repercussions of blatantly speaking your mind to the one you were conversing with. Perhaps you were afraid of their judgments.
Maybe you felt that what you had to say might have hurt their feelings. There is a chance you held back what you wanted to say because it made you feel too vulnerable, but the truth is that making ourselves vulnerable in this manner is one of the best parts of life.
The ability to communicate verbally is what separates us as humans and allows us to grow and experience things on a level unmet by other living creatures.
Listen, if you find yourself thinking,“I should say. . . ,” then I highly encourage you to be brave and allow yourself to say exactly what it is you are thinking. Often it goes that people hesitate to speak the words that are building up, spinning through their mind, with the fear of how others will respond.
I find this fear to be very common and one of the most unnecessary, as it is never wrong to let people know how you feel. It is worse to hide those inner comments than to share them, because those people around you are not mind readers.
The thing of it is, when you feel compelled to tell somebody something, the desire never dissipates, and it only torments your thoughts with regret until you let out what you had been meaning to say.
Living with regret is never the wise option.
While it is difficult to be truthful at times, when we are honest we have a sensation of peace in our hearts when the day is done.
While going through the rapid transition from high school to college, a lot changes that you may never have anticipated.
Your relationships with old friends, coworkers and family are now different as you begin to mature.
Entering the adult world puts more pressure on you to act responsibly, and what I am saying is that you must be responsible for yourself in expressing your truth.
Do not refrain from vocalizing your thoughts or concerns, because we live in a country where we are granted the freedom to say whatever we wish.
Take advantage of that privilege and never hesitate to say a word.
Ultimately, my point is that saying “I am not happy,” or “I love you,” or “I am sorry,” or “I miss you,” can only be beneficial.
Quit hiding your truth in order to satisfy others.
Your soul does not function properly when it is constantly facing discrepancies between what is happening within and what you are expressing outwardly.
When the dust of a fight settles or a moment of happiness floods you with joy, it does in fact matter that you feel free from things you “should have said.”
The best way to keep a conscience clear in regards to a relationship is to know you gave your all by being honest and saying whatever it was you needed to.
Arline Votruba can be contacted at avotruba@keene-equinox.com
