Administrative Executive Editor
In any society, everyone has an expectation to uphold. When mankind relied on a hunter-gatherer society, there were expectations and obligations for both men and women. In a farming society it was the same; but what happens when society has changed so much that humans’ survival is based on one’s own competence and drive?
Today there is a rift between men and women. With a platform as free as social media, the louder voices of both sides, unfortunately, have the dominant position and are therefore the ones the fight is focused on. All ideas posed by them are the ideas that are thought to be the general opinion.
Greatest on the list of issues between the two sexes are their unrealistic expectations. From women, men expect home keepers, child bearers, caregivers; essentially things of the past. The additive attractiveness expectation is a thing built from pornography, modeling agencies and Hollywood, and deserves no consideration.
From men, however — consider prince charming. What does he do? Save a damsel in distress. Consider your basic romantic comedy. How does the guy always get the girl? He performs a drop everything, lose all, traverse the countryside, “to the ends of the earth and back!” romantic movement that eventually helps her see that he’s the right guy for her. It’s a beautiful and poetic snapshot with little thought to the after effects of such an asinine action.
Consider a man who loses his job. In this job market, with employment in the U.S. at 70.6 percent according to data.oecd.org, will he be able to find a job right away? If he does, will he even like it? I’d wager that most of the time the answer to both questions would be no. Yes, he did finally win you, but at what cost? Where is his life?
This is all a digression to the point — in a relationship, nothing should be sacrificed; all aspect of a person’s life should be enhanced. Social life should change for the better. Nobody should be losing friends. Work should be made easier, since there is now someone to talk to about whatever problems may arise, and someone to be proud of you for whatever accomplishments you achieve.
Now I will address the unrealistic body image men are expected to fit into. These, I will admit, have a lot to do with modeling agencies and Hollywood movies — however, this has been an argument submitted by women against men for years, and it’s important to address.
What is the most important part of a person? A healthy body is nice in terms of knowing someone is taking care of themselves, but to ask for more seems counterproductive in a society that cares about gender equality. An impressive stature is great if, for example, you like apple picking, but can never seem to reach that one ripe apple just over six feet up. How are these qualities that fit into a person’s dating criteria? The handsomest, fittest, six foot plus man can still be abusive, unkind or even sexist. I propose that long remembered childhood proverb that says, “It’s what’s on the inside that counts,” as a dumbed down and now overused statement, holds more truth than most others. A person’s character is what defines them. What one does behind closed doors, or when nobody’s looking. These are things that should be taken into account. These should be the criteria for what makes a person a good person, or the right person for you. It’s important to note too, a person should enjoy the feeling when they’ve accomplished a good deed. A person should not brag about it on social media. The statement behind something like that is as simple as, “I’ve been feeling like a bad person lately so here’s something I did to prove I’m not.”
Sebastien Mehegan can be contacted