My love, there is something I must share with you. This isn’t easy, and I’ve put a lot of thought into it but here and now, things are locking up.
I am trans, I want nothing more than to be a woman and I know this might be a shock but it’s just too much for me to bear anymore. I don’t know where it came from or why but it doesn’t matter.
I want you to know that just because my name has changed doesn’t mean my love for you has, there isn’t a day still where I don’t want to be there with you. You’ve said to me before you love me for who I am, and that you’ll always love me, no matter what.
Well, I hope that rings true today, because I hope to love you the way I am. If this is too much, if the change is too great or if you just don’t want to deal with it, I would understand, but I beg of you to give me a chance to show you that everything will be wonderful.
This will involve work, though. My mood will change, my mannerisms and even my voice. I can’t promise that my mood changes will always be positive, and I can’t promise that I’ll always be ladylike no matter how hard I try, and I can’t even promise that people will actually think I’m a woman.
But I know as long as I’m with you we’ll make it through, and it won’t matter what others think of me or of us.
And I promise, through all of this, our life will be wonderful. We’ll shop for a wedding dress to match your tie, I’ll make sure to hold tight so you don’t drop me across the threshold on our wedding night, we’ll live the life we’ve dreamt of living, happier than ever between the two of us.
There’s nothing in this world I want more than to see this through with the love of my life, my soulmate, and my future husband; you.
This a gigantic deal to the individual coming out. To tell someone you trust and care about something so personal about yourself can feel monumental, or impossible. The best thing to do for someone, no matter how they do it or when, is to tell them that nothing will change between the two of you, and that you accept them. Even if it’s not a big deal to you, it most likely is to them, and it can mean the world if someone tells them that everything’s okay.
Most importantly, coming out is a choice. If someone doesn’t want to tell others, for whatever reason, that is their decision, and you should never “out” them to people. This step in an individual’s life can change it forever, don’t let it change them for the worse. If you need a place to come and be yourself, the Office of Multicultural Student Support and Success is a wonderful place full of accepting and loving people, located on the second floor of the L.P. Young Student Center past the Mabel Brown Room.
Vivian Valengavich can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org