I want to apply for jobs away from home, but I’m worried me and my boyfriend won’t last if I do. Having trouble following my heart, what do I do Arline?

Dear Reader,

  You are voicing some very legitimate concerns. Approaching graduation, I can assure you that many other couples are facing similar dilemmas. That being said, I can’t help you to decide what to do, but I have some important points for you to consider when deciding on your next step.

Since the recent improvements in technology, geography is less of a factor than it used to be when it comes to staying connected. I think that first, when considering your future, it is important to imagine how it would be to date someone who lives far away. While it is possible to maintain a long distance relationship now more than ever before, it depends what you need from that relationship. We have access to internet communications like Facebook, Skype and Snapchat, bridging the gap of geography so that your partner can virtually be part of your day even if they are a plane ride away. That being said, if your idea of romance puts a heavy emphasis on the physical, a long distance relationship might be more of a burden than a pleasure at this stage in your life.

Photo by: William Wrobel

Photo by: William Wrobel

When it comes to our careers, it is crucial to make decisions based on our own happiness rather than the convenience of others. Does your boyfriend support your goals and career dreams? I would talk to him about whether he feels you two can continue to be together even if distance becomes a factor. It is also worth asking how he feels about moving. Are there reasons why he can’t move with you? Love is crazy, but sometimes simply having faith in the relationship and making a big step like moving away together can increase the bond you share. I would consider this option and talk to your boyfriend about the possibilities.

You should think about what it would feel like to reject moving somewhere just to please your boyfriend. If the tables were turned, would you move with him in order to support an advancement in his career goals?

I have found, through my own experiences with long distance relationships, that having distance between you and your lover totally gives you a new understanding of the relationship. I had one boyfriend that I saw a lot during the summer. We started to date, but, as fall came and we moved back to our different schools, the problems brewed. It is easy to be happy when you are constantly with your partner, but, when you are separated by time and distance, you find out what the relationship is worth. When we were separated, he stopped communicating and things fell apart. Although it was heartbreaking, the geographical distance helped us to see that we were not made for each other.

Ultimately, I advise you to apply for jobs away from home. See what opportunities you are presented with, and if you receive an offer, take all of the above into careful consideration. If your love is true, there is no distance that could separate your bond. I’ll leave you with a quote that may help to inform your decision, “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.” Good luck in the job search.

Peace,

Arline